They have more lawn than the rest of us. I fear for Ken. I realize that if he weakens the slightest bit, the result might well be disastrous. It's my best judgment that our little wooded enclave can NOT risk another good example.
However, I fear that Ken has already begun to slip irretrievably into good lawn care habits.
I've been quietly gathering evidence the past three summers. While Ken appears to have arrived on Maple Lane free of the green bug, he lately shows signs of crippling infection. Yet, while I do not exempt him from blame completely, it does seem to me that early-on he might have faltered more and worked less. Clearly, he suffers with a strong streak of diligence.
I do my best to help Ken. I set a consistently bad example for him. But it does little good. "Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho. . .Off to Work" he goes, like Disney's Five Dwarfs. Watching him work makes me Grumpy and Sleepy. I let him commandeer Bashful, Doc, Dopey, Happy, and especially Sneezy -- which serves him right for stirring up all that pollen and leaf-mold.
After all, Doc Milly and I have done our best to set horrible examples with our lawns and flower beds. So far our willful delinquency has availed us nothing. Ken acts as if we haven't even loafed.
Honestly, I like and admire Ken immensely. But where his lawn is concerned, I had expected much less from him.
I know it's probably not his fault.
Tom Baird lives beside Ken and provides the worst possible example.
I have spoken elsewhere of Tom's wonderful leadership.
But where Tom's yard work is concerned I consider him dangerous.
It does no good whatever that Ken is so easily led in virtuous directions.
I have spoken elsewhere of Tom's wonderful leadership.
But where Tom's yard work is concerned I consider him dangerous.
It does no good whatever that Ken is so easily led in virtuous directions.
Rick Jankowiak lives one lot north of Ken.
He seems less of an infectious influence.
Yet, what if Rick infects Ken and Patty with a viral case of
shedsmanship-gigantica?
He seems less of an infectious influence.
Yet, what if Rick infects Ken and Patty with a viral case of
shedsmanship-gigantica?
Ken has other good habits that worry me. Cutting the lawn is one bad thing. But in addition, he's embarrassingly fastidious about his yard. I discourage this tendency all I can.
Ken sets his grass cuttings out on yard waste collection day.
*I dump my grass unceremoniously into a mulch pit I rarely mulch.
Ken hires a firm which fertilizes and applies insecticide to his lawn.
*I keep hoping the bugs will eat my grass.
Ken programs his automatic underground watering system.
*I rarely adjust the knob on mine from OFF to AUTO.
Ken suctions leaves out of his rich ground cover.
*I poke my leaves beneath my pachysandra with a rake.
Ken Aereates and DeThatches his lawn once a year.
* Moles do the same work free for me.
Ken blows debris from his deck, drive, and walkways.
*For three restful seasons, I have not started my blower.
Ken sweeps his garage floor.
*I know there's a garage floor there somewhere.
*I dump my grass unceremoniously into a mulch pit I rarely mulch.
Ken hires a firm which fertilizes and applies insecticide to his lawn.
*I keep hoping the bugs will eat my grass.
Ken programs his automatic underground watering system.
*I rarely adjust the knob on mine from OFF to AUTO.
Ken suctions leaves out of his rich ground cover.
*I poke my leaves beneath my pachysandra with a rake.
Ken Aereates and DeThatches his lawn once a year.
* Moles do the same work free for me.
Ken blows debris from his deck, drive, and walkways.
*For three restful seasons, I have not started my blower.
Ken sweeps his garage floor.
*I know there's a garage floor there somewhere.
I could go on with such criticisms. But what sort of a good neighbor would I be if I did. Enough to say that Ken keeps me on my toes dodging his good examples. In this way it might be that he contributes more to the flexibility of my joints than do my daily one-hour sessions of yoga. Therefore I forgive him his trespasses.
Despite our differing attitudes about yard chores, Ken and Patty and I are old and valued friends. We have much in common. All three of us began our professional lives as English teachers. In addition Patty and I have enjoyed lively careers as high school principals. Both of us were successful and enjoyed the work. The three of us have accumulated numerous scars and and much spurious wisdom through these virtuous enterprises.
Mostly, though, through our work as professional educators, I think we have cultivated fine pallets and a preference for good wine. Sometimes gallons of it at a time. How exactly does that quatrain from Omar Khayam go?
I joke about the friendship I enjoy with these two good friends. But actually I regard them with great admiration and warm affection.
The truth is simply this. Over the past three years Ken and Patty have been wonderfully kind to me. At regular intervals they have welcomed me into their gracious new home, touched my heart with warmth, and helped me through my long period of grieving.
Third wheel or not: they have never turned me away:
Despite our differing attitudes about yard chores, Ken and Patty and I are old and valued friends. We have much in common. All three of us began our professional lives as English teachers. In addition Patty and I have enjoyed lively careers as high school principals. Both of us were successful and enjoyed the work. The three of us have accumulated numerous scars and and much spurious wisdom through these virtuous enterprises.
Mostly, though, through our work as professional educators, I think we have cultivated fine pallets and a preference for good wine. Sometimes gallons of it at a time. How exactly does that quatrain from Omar Khayam go?
A book of verse beneath the bough,
Some bread, a cask of wine, plus I and thou
Dead drunk, there snoring in the wilderness.
I left the school upset, but am not now.
I joke about the friendship I enjoy with these two good friends. But actually I regard them with great admiration and warm affection.
The truth is simply this. Over the past three years Ken and Patty have been wonderfully kind to me. At regular intervals they have welcomed me into their gracious new home, touched my heart with warmth, and helped me through my long period of grieving.
Third wheel or not: they have never turned me away:
Good friends in need, are friends indeed!
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