This coming Tuesday I'm flying to Italy for about ten days. The Amalfi Coast, Naples, the Isle of Capri. If that sounds like fun, then you never observed my struggle with a suitcase. It's not the suitcase that daunts me. It's all the other insoluble problems related to packing. . .
For instance:
What's the weather gonna be like?
How many changes of stuff will I need?
Do I take levis, khakis, or corduroys?
Something more formal, too?
Will it rain constantly?
Will it be chilly and dark?
Sunny, warm, and sweaty?
Will we be marathon-walking?
Is it possible to stay downwind of fellow travelers?
Howcum I thought this trip might be fun?
How many changes of stuff will I need?
Do I take levis, khakis, or corduroys?
Something more formal, too?
Will it rain constantly?
Will it be chilly and dark?
Sunny, warm, and sweaty?
Will we be marathon-walking?
Is it possible to stay downwind of fellow travelers?
Howcum I thought this trip might be fun?
The list goes on! Never mind that I go through this crazy cycle every time I take a trip longer than one day away. I hate the approaching flight as if it were Doomsday. Then, soon as I board the first plane I'm all excited, filled with the anticipation of new places, new people, new fun. I know I'm crazy. But knowing that doesn't seem to help me with packing.
So! Today I began my NEW APPROACH to travel. I laid out an ensemble for each day. . .the stuff I'll wear on the plane. The stuff I'll wear for each day's adventure. The stuff I'll wear to supper and into the night. The stuff I'll wear on the flight homeward. A simple, orderly process for once!
I actually laid the stuff neatly out on my bed and went over it carefully. Only when I was completely satisfied with the layout, did I realize that not even half that much stuff will fit into a sensible suitcase. It was at this point that I remembered the last time I went to Europe: I never wore half the stuff I took anyway.
Ahhhh! But which HALF goes with me? Which stays home? Imponderable!
At this point in the packing-planning-process I take some small comfort from the realization that, at best, most European travelers get a little stinky by the end of the first week. Maybe a bit earlier. In fact, I've noted that most Europeans I've gotten shoved too close to are a little gamy themselves. Maybe all the time! (No wonder the United Nations doesn't run smoothly)
In their favor, I've noted that many Europeans don't seem to mind a little BO now and then. It's the Americans I've crowded up too close to that seem so fastidious. It's they who wrinkle their noses. (I wrinkle mine right back at them!) A little manly cologne could help. . .although the cologne bottle must be added to the items already cut in half.
Only one time did I find a quick solution to packing for a European trip. My flight left early one Sunday morning. I'd had a really busy Saturday. Half my stuff was still at the cleaners, because I had forgotten to pick it up before early closing time. That trip I wound up with more toilet articles than articles of clothing.
And to my surprise I didn't miss the stuff I couldn't take. All the way across the Atlantic I kept telling myself stuff like: "Never mind. You can buy any stuff you need." But it developed as the days sped by that I did quite well with about a quarter of the clothing articles I had planned to take with me. I'm a skinny, non-perspiring sorta guy. In fact, planning my packing is one of the few things that makes me sweat.
On that half-a-suitcase trip, I had plenty of clean underwear and socks, for instance. And SOAP! And shaving gear! All I had to do was let food-spills dry over-night and whack the particles off the front side of my clothing in the morning. I finessed that trip like a seasoned traveler.
Perhaps too seasoned. But one of the virtues of BO is that few people can smell their own.
So! Today I began my NEW APPROACH to travel. I laid out an ensemble for each day. . .the stuff I'll wear on the plane. The stuff I'll wear for each day's adventure. The stuff I'll wear to supper and into the night. The stuff I'll wear on the flight homeward. A simple, orderly process for once!
I actually laid the stuff neatly out on my bed and went over it carefully. Only when I was completely satisfied with the layout, did I realize that not even half that much stuff will fit into a sensible suitcase. It was at this point that I remembered the last time I went to Europe: I never wore half the stuff I took anyway.
Ahhhh! But which HALF goes with me? Which stays home? Imponderable!
At this point in the packing-planning-process I take some small comfort from the realization that, at best, most European travelers get a little stinky by the end of the first week. Maybe a bit earlier. In fact, I've noted that most Europeans I've gotten shoved too close to are a little gamy themselves. Maybe all the time! (No wonder the United Nations doesn't run smoothly)
In their favor, I've noted that many Europeans don't seem to mind a little BO now and then. It's the Americans I've crowded up too close to that seem so fastidious. It's they who wrinkle their noses. (I wrinkle mine right back at them!) A little manly cologne could help. . .although the cologne bottle must be added to the items already cut in half.
Only one time did I find a quick solution to packing for a European trip. My flight left early one Sunday morning. I'd had a really busy Saturday. Half my stuff was still at the cleaners, because I had forgotten to pick it up before early closing time. That trip I wound up with more toilet articles than articles of clothing.
And to my surprise I didn't miss the stuff I couldn't take. All the way across the Atlantic I kept telling myself stuff like: "Never mind. You can buy any stuff you need." But it developed as the days sped by that I did quite well with about a quarter of the clothing articles I had planned to take with me. I'm a skinny, non-perspiring sorta guy. In fact, planning my packing is one of the few things that makes me sweat.
On that half-a-suitcase trip, I had plenty of clean underwear and socks, for instance. And SOAP! And shaving gear! All I had to do was let food-spills dry over-night and whack the particles off the front side of my clothing in the morning. I finessed that trip like a seasoned traveler.
Perhaps too seasoned. But one of the virtues of BO is that few people can smell their own.
It was my most comfortable trip ever.
Nobody crowded around me that much!
Nobody crowded around me that much!
How was the trip? Waiting for a post!
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